RATED PG.
The following entry is just a trick. This is not worth of your time, so you may leave this page. Clicking this link was highly appreciated. Thank you.
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It was never my intention to create a negative impact on your lowly life, Jan Lloyd, after that 15-minute conversation, but then, I realized I should have done otherwise.
“All men are evil.” – Machiavelli
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I met up with a good friend to help her transact her brother’s cheque. Since she’s not quite familiar with the university, I agreed to accompany her in the shopping center to print out the necessary documents to claim the cheque. A few minutes later, we drove to the institution to talk to the “right man of the job”: Sir Jan Lloyd.
Just like any other day, I greeted the guard with a smile. Then, I asked for Mr. Lloyd’s whereabouts and was told that he was at the Admin Office. My friend and I exchanged a short chat while walking along the corridor towards the office.
We arrived at the pink office door where the “ADMIN OFFICE” sign was fixed at the top. I knocked once and gently pushed the door. One staff approached us to entertain our query. I told her that we were waiting for Sir Jan Lloyd. She smiled and advised us to just enter through his mini office.
Sir Jan Lloyd was sitting in his soft cushioned arm chair, high enough to make him comfortable. I took a few steps inside hesitating to sit in any of the (guest) chairs in front of him. My friend was one pace behind me.
“O, ano un?”, he greeted us at the doorway.
“Sir, siya po (pointing at my friend) yung kapatid ni Samuel Milby. Ipa-followup…”, I replied.
“Eh, hindi ko na hawak un, kasi sabi sakin huwag ko na daw pakialaman”, he interjected while adjusting himself on his chair arrogantly.
I was a bit confused about his statements, interpreting the words as mine, so I defensively exclaimed, “Sir, siguro po nagkaroon lang ng miscommunication, pero hindi po ganon ang sinabi ko…”
“Ha! Dalawa ang tenga ko (pointing to his ears), iyon ang narinig kong sinabi sakin. ‘Pwede po bang ‘wag niyo na lakarin? Yung kapatid na lang po niya ang mag-aasikaso.’ Ako naman, eh sige. Pero para bang nabastos ako.”
“Sir, hindi naman po yun ang intensiyon ko noong nakausap ko kayo.”
“Hindi e. Ganon nga ang sinabi. Sa isip ko, ‘Aba, itong mga taong ito, tinutulungan na nga e sasabihan pa ako ng ganon. Para bang may porsiyento ako sa cheque na iyon’.”
“Sige po Sir. Kung iyon nga ang nangyari, eh sorry po…”, I was about to extend my apologies but he kept on talking.
“Madami na akong natulungan, pero parang pinalalabas ay may kukunin akong pera doon kaya ako sinabihan na huwag nang makialaman. Matagal ko nang nilakad iyan, andito pa nga ang mga records. Ang akala ko nga nakuha niyo na,e.”
From confusion, my feelings shifted to uneasiness. I was sure I didn’t say anything about “huwag nang lakarin” but this person was so adamant about it. I focused on what he was saying looking for an opportunity to just say an apology again about what happened to appease him.
My friend might had felt the tension inside the room, so she interrupted, “Hindi ko naman po kasi alam dito. Tsaka actually po, mga once or twice ko lang po nasabi sa kanya (looking at me). Nahihiya nga po ako dito kaya ang nasabi ko nga po ay hingin ko na lang ang number niyo para direkta ko kayong makausap…”
“Oo, iyon pwede pa. Noong una nga, ang ganda ng pasok. Maayos ang usapan namin. Sabi ko ‘Sige, i-followup mo sa akin sa Friday’. Pero after mga 10 minutes ata, bumalik sakin at ang sinabi nga ay ‘Mang Floyd, pwede po bang huwag niyo nalang lakarin, at iyong kapatid nalang daw ang mag-aasikaso’. Iyon ang sinabi sakin.” He went on with, “Grabe, ang tagal kong iniisip ang mga sinabi sakin. Pero siyempre, sa akin lang iyon, ha. Ako naman ay tumutulong lang naman…”
“Sir, Sir!” , calling his attention about his incessant clamor, “Kung iyon man ho ang nasabi ko, hindi ko naman po intention iyon. Sir, I apologize po sa nangyari,” my voice moving more than a decibel higher than before. I also added that I didn’t get his number since he referred one person to look for at the Cashier’s Office.
“Okay na iyon, tapos na. Pero kasi…*blah, blah, blah*”
I just couldn’t understand how he was reacting to my apologies. My heart started to pound fast. I felt my blood rushing to my temples then to my eyes. My lips were more pursed. I changed my stance to defocus myself from making any further comments. I noticed my hands started to shake so I clutched on my back pack straps with both hands. I tried to calm myself lest I just shout, “TO H*LL WITH YOU! TAMA NA NGA, PARA KAYONG SIRANG PLAKA E! HETO NA NGA’T NAGSO-SORRY, EH AYAW NIYO PA RIN TUMIGIL! T*NG**A NAMAN O!”. I succeeded.
My friend was trying to ease the tension again, but without luck. Towards the end, I was on the verge of tears because of rage, that I blurted in a voice enough to be heard in the entire admin office, “GALIT PA HO BA KAYO SA AKIN?!”
“Hindi na, hindi na…*blah, blah*”
“Eh parang galit pa ho kayo e. So okay na po tayo?” He acknowledged half-heartedly.
“Iyon naman pala.” I turned to my friend, “tara na,” and automatically exclaimed, “thank you Sir!”. We left and walked back towards the exit of the building.
Nearing the guard's area where we first entered the building, I asked my friend to accompany me to the lab room to place the bottles of water and pastries I bought earlier. Putting my keys inside the keyhole, I noticed I was shaking again. As I went inside the room, I placed the groceries on top of the table, put my bag down on one chair, took my glasses off, slumped on another chair, and shouted, “T**G*NA NIYA!”. Worried that other people might hear us, she closed the door and sat on an empty chair.
I started to cry. It has been years since the last time I felt this type of anger. Almost every word was followed by “T**G*NA”, “G*G*”, “P*N**TA”, “P*T**G*S” among others. I vented out with foul language coming out of my mouth like wild fireworks. My friend told me to calm down (in case the dev*l was behind the door), directing me to drink water. I answered her that I don’t give an inch of a care if it was the case.
It was the first time I transacted business with him and didn’t expect him to act that way. In the first place, he was talking to clients. We were not his own kids deserving to be spanked because of petty exclamations. In his point of view I was a bit bossy but in my own point of view, he was apparently, evidently, clearly immature and UNprofessional.
Why put in emotions in business? Why never listen to someone and just blabber about OWN’s feelings about what happened ages ago? Why never direct all grievances to the person IN FRONT believed to have created the chaos within (i.e. instead of using “niya” why not use “ikaw”)?
TO MANONG JAN LLOYD (SINCE YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE ADDRESSED AS “SIR” ANY MORE):
ALAM MO SAYANG, KASI RELATIVELY MATAAS ANG PAGGALANG KO SAYO KAHIT NA EMPLEYADO KA NG ISANG UNIBERSIDAD NA MAY LANTARANG BUDGET CUT. PERO P*T****NA NAMAN, GANON KA PALA UMASTA? HUWAG MO SANA MAMASAMAIN, PERO SA TOTOO LANG, ANG B*B* NG MGA PINAGSASABI MO. BUSINESS LANG MANONG. ALAM KO NAMAN NA MARUNONG KANG GUMAMIT NG TENGA PARA SUMAGAP NG SAMU’T SARING TUNOG PERO HINDI KA MARUNONG MAKINIG AT MAKAINTINDI. ANG SABI MO PA ANG GALING MO SA PAGTANDA NG MGA BAGAY BAGAY, E BAKIT HINDI MO MAN LANG MATANDAAN ANG PAGPAPASALAMAT KO SA IYO? BINIGYAN KA NA NG PAGKAKATAON PARA MAILAGAY ANG SARILI MO SA DEHADO AT NAABALA, AT I-ANGAT ANG SARILI MO SA LUGAR NG TAMA, PERO KAILAN MAN AY HINDI KA LUMUNOK NG LAWAY PARA PAKINGGAN ANG PAGHINGI NG TAWAD MO AT MAGPALIWANAG MAN LANG. TSAKA PLEASE LANG MANONG HA, HUWAG NA HUWAG MONG BABANGGITIN ANG SERBISYONG GINUGOL MO SA UNIBERSIDAD KASI WALANG TAONG MAY INTERES PARA PANSININ ANG SERBISYONG MAY BAHID NG PANLILINLANG. HIGIT SA LAHAT, KUNG TALAGANG IPINAGMAMAYABANG MO NA ISA KANG MATAPAT NA NAGLILINGKOD, SANA LANG TAPAT KA DIN SA MGA SALITANG BINITAWAN MO- QUITS NA TAYO!
SIYA NGA PALA, GUSTO KO LANG IPAALAM SAYO NA SA SUSUNOD NATIN PAGKIKITA, MAAARING ITURIN NA KITANG ISANG PADER NA MAKAKASALUBONG KO. INGAT MANONG, NAPANSIN KO LANG NA PARANG MARUPOK ANG PAGKAKAGAWA SAYO NG UTAK KO.
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“All men are evil.” – Machiavelli
Cliche as it may sound but really, I have my own set of flaws. I am in the process of nerve-wracking personality repair. I admit I still have my side of darkness, and today, I realized I am a half-blood b*tch.
P.S. names were changed for intentional purposes.
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