What If Harry Potter Was Directed by Tim Burton?

Harry Potter has been one of the books that I really like and this is the only book series (I believe) I've read first, before watching the movies. As expected, I am one of those people who felt that a lot should have been featured in the movie even though I watched the movie for three hours!

But seriously, if Tim Burton, indeed directed the Harry Potter movie/s, I think it would be very...different. As a director, he is the kind who maintains the story while providing the so-called, personal twists. His inclusion of dark humor (read about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory info here) seems to show that what appears on the outside does not necessarily equate what's the inside. He's known to link human nature and darkness with imagery and real art; the angle of light, the design (Gothic), and the witty lines. Put all of these trademarks into (even a single installment of) Harry Potter would make the movie bizarre but worth watching despite the "book cuts" that would be done. 

And if anyone noticed the third installation, The Prisoner of Azkaban (directed by Alfonso Cuaron), the darkness was starting to surge. Harry Potter is a dark book series. Tim Burton's directing style has always been dark.

Burton-Potter, a good combination, but then, how would JK Rowling react to this offer?

This poster is quite unimaginable, though.

P.S. Like any other directors, Tim Burton has his own set of favorites; so like Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix Lestrange, he'll definitely choose Johnny Depp to play a significant role...hmm Sirius Black, or perhaps, Mad-eye Moody? By the way, I am one of the "trio" fans and quite excited for the upcoming Dark Shadows (this might be obvious).

Summer and Music

April. I came across with this ad which somehow, is telling me that with "Summer Heat" coming to the Philippines so is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hit the music scene. So just like any music enthusiast, I am grabbing this opportunity to join Philippineconcerts' Choose Your Own Concert Promo for April 2012. And based on the list, I wanted to win a nice, if not the best, seat to watch Sergio Mendes and Brasil.

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1. Why do you want to watch the Concert?

After watching Rio (movie), I just had this feeling that I wanted to go to Brazil. It seems that Brazil is a cousin, if not a sister, of our very own country, Philippines. The festive atmosphere and the upbeat music are really captivating and enticing that I wanted to pack up my things, get a ticket, and just fly over there at that moment. With the opportunity of The Sergio Mendes coming to Manila, it's like bringing Brazil and its rich culture to us through music. This is real Brazilian artist who's willing to share his culture and passion of what Brazil is all about. I can just imagine Brazilian experience inside the Big Dome! And just a side note, HE was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Original Song this year, 2012 as he co-wrote the song "Real In Rio" from the animated film Rio!

2. What is your favorite song from the chosen Artist?

That would definitely be Mas Que Nada.

3. Why did you choose that song?

I admit that I first heard it from our very own Sitti (Cafè Bossa), then I later found out that though it was written originally by Jorge Ben, Mas Que Nada has been a signature song of Sergio Mendes. And later still, hearing his re-recording with the Black Eyed Peas was even more unique- different! I never thought that the rhythm of hiphop and the sophistication of bossa nova/samba could make a perfect blend of music. It was ingenius! I couldn't help but play the song in my head right now:

"Oariá raiô 

Obá Obá Obá (lá, lá, lá, lá, lá) 

Oariá raiô Obá Obá Obá..." 

*Here is the youtube version of this song; click here.
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I really believe music makes everyone happy.  I like this one quote by Hans Christian Andersen, "Where words fail, music speaks." Indeed, music just transcends boundaries and culture. In my own point of view, it is one of the goals of the Philippine Concert organization; that no matter what language each person speaks, in music we just understand what we want to share to the world. 


Thank you Philippine Concerts! More power to you! :)

Pretty Lady. Elegant Woman

I fascinate everything that makes a woman. I like the idea of femininity that exudes from her. And among those fascinations I like to note the top 3 things that makes every woman feels special as a woman.

#3. LBD. Also known as the little black dress, LBD has become a staple in almost every woman's wardrobe. I believe that every woman has the perfect LBD for her body shape; all it takes is a little "get-to-know-your-body" time. A woman doesn't have to have a hour glass figure to have an LBD in her closet. After all, Cameron Diaz may be slim but she absolutely looks great in this little black dress.

(c) HubPages

 #2. Stilettos. It will take a lot of practice (and courage) to wear this type of footwear. I read that there are five important points to remember when considering a pair of stilettos: (1) get the right and the well-made pair, (2) exercise (before and after) to strengthen ankles and calves, (3) heel-ball-toe-hips rhythm, (4) take small steps, start slow, and practice, practice, practice, (5) enjoy and love yourself! Also known as The Deadly Weapon, a pair of stilettos is something that will make every woman look and feel sexy. It will really showcase those impressive gams, just like Emma Watson's, while wearing her Christian Louboutin pumps.

(c) celebrity-gossip.net

#1.  Wedding dress. For most women, if not all, the wedding dress is the most prized part of the wardrobe. Every detail of the dress is of great importance - from the type of material, texture, length, cut, embroidery, ...etc. It will literally take months for it to be made starting from the design to the semi-final fitting. I just have this idea that any bride in her (well-crafted) wedding dress is radiant, stunning, and full of love. From the moment she takes her first step towards that special man who patiently (and excitedly) waits for her at the end of the aisle, all pairs of eyes are on her because on that special day, she is the most beautiful creature ever made.

(c) Most Beautiful Wedding Dresses 2012

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Isn't she just lovely? :)

Top 10 Things That Never Fail to Make Me Smile :)

10. Biking during a cloudy day 

 9. "Saturday night-Sunday morning" duo

 8. On stage

 7. Music and a book

 6. Disney

 5. Shoe or dress fitting

 4. Vanilla ice cream

 3. A Christmas tree

 2. A hug

 1. Night sky: Stars and Fireworks!

What's your list? :)

Chatbox

When was the last time you smiled?

When was the last time you laughed?

When was the last time you felt something was definitely right?

It was late year of the 2000s when I met this person just because I asked various favors from my friend to introduce me. He had nice wavy hair, good set of teeth with braces, well-framed face, and pleasing eyes. He was one word: handsome. The only drawback is he was just as tall as I am. A lot of drama were played just to tease fate that I'd like us to meet. 

And we did meet and his name was something I will never forget.

I asked my friend another set of favors and another set, until I suggested I ran errands for her for a so-called "emergency". To my frustration he did not respond nor even reacted in any way. Then my phone beeped telling me about an incoming message to be read. It was not him but his friend. The frustration just went deeper inside me. On the contrary, I then wore my friendliness and entertained some queries. Unexpectedly, I felt fine- entertained. 

Days turned to weeks. My friend just laughed at me saying that I just didn't hit the target; it slipped to a wrong one. However this "friend" was somebody I did not expect to meet. We almost had almost the same set of likes and dislikes. We talked a variety of things, as the cliche goes, under the sun. Conversation was never plain between us. The exchange of stories was like a wind that never ceased to blow between us. It took awhile until one day I received a message with something like, "...inspiration." Out of curiosity, the means of communication expanded. What happened next was something I will never remove from the box of memories. Roses, a smile, and a name that I held dear.

Unexpectedly, almost everyone knew there was a special connection going between us. Graciously I denied that it was merely friendship, as far as I believed. However, I later found out that the "name" was quite known to some. I felt abashed to my ears but I managed discretely so as not to attract any further attention.

The day came when every friend of ours seemed to accept how I and my friend treated each other in our own special way. I will never forget those three pieces of dark cookies that I wished I never had eaten, or the time when he traced his fingers through my long thin hair, or even the moment he touched my face with both hands just to pull me away from the attention I was giving to other friends. I almost melted but I hid it as proficiently as I could.

These were the moments that you might be smiling as I did. On the other hand, later, I came to realize that I was building something so fragile and as expected, I was shattered to pieces. *

A Tree to Remember

December has always been a favorite month. It is something to look forward every year. Family, food, presents, and of course, the Christmas tree.

I just had this belief that happiness would be magnified at least a hundred times whenever there's this Christmas figure with ornaments and presents underneath it. 

A Picture with Mr Tree

I was a toddler when I first came across a Christmas tree. 

It was the day my sister's god sister brought me along to watch her ballet recital. Like most events, picture taking was done as a memorabilia. And since that was Christmas time, a picture with the Christmas tree that stood near the stage was a famous spot. It stood high with all those little people with red coats, black belts and pointed red hats scattered at different angles. It was big but I felt it was harmless so I allowed myself to be led by the hand and stared at the lens focused towards us.

I vaguely remembered how she danced that day, but maybe, just as most adults would do, her mother, Mama Linda, and probably my Nanay (grandma) instructed me to clap my hands after the performance. She may had danced very well, but all along, my eyes kept on wondering when would we eat.

Branches and Leaves

Being first born, I was close to my Nanay (grandma). She lived in her own home in the city and a week is not complete without her presence. 

She's fond of plants and trinkets. Thus, when it's in season, she did not need any artificial stuff to make herself a Christmas tree or should I say, a Christmas plant. With just a few (but real) leaves, it would always stood perfectly on a table. Being short, it was in favor of my height; I could freely touch the rounded ornaments she put and satisfied myself by how each would respond without being scolded if any got loose (they're made of plastic and thread).

Simple Ornaments

I could still remember the first Christmas tree my Mama bought. It was about 3 or 4 feet tall with 5 parts to be assembled. It was so simple but an improved version of my Nanay's. Nonetheless, anytime during the "ber" months, when she brought out the boxes, I was always excited just because she allowed me (and my sister) to decorate it (get what to expect). Sad as it may be, it only lasted before l entered high school.

Close to Have My Own

Always. I am always drawn to Christmas trees of all sizes: from table top to gargantuan. I always catch myself smiling to Christmas trees of all colors; green, white, yellow and blue.  I always feel a lot of happy emotions just by the thought of decorating it.

I want a big dark green Christmas tree, about 12 feet high. I want it to be decorated in a way that will make each child smile no matter how shy he/she may be. I want it be a presentation, in my own home, for friends to remember about the colors of life. 

I want it, not just pretty but, dazzling. 

I want it, not just catchy but, inspiring.

And I just know. Soon.

photo courtesy of email-junk.com

Let's all have a Merry Christmas! :)

Classic Tales

Even when I was in grade school, I have been an avid visitor of the place a minority of students like: the library. I studied in a private school so as expected, it is worth every penny my parents paid. I was in grade two when I began to read classic books. The titles Little Women, The Secret Garden, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, A Christmas Carol, Last of the Mohicans, Gulliver's Travels, Robinson Crusoe, Call of the Wild, Black Beauty, Kidnapped,  were familiar to me. I mostly read them inside the library and borrow them for a week. At a young age, I don't care when some words required me to consult a dictionary. For as long as the book is hard bound, has clean pages and illustrations, then, I can read it for my own leisure. 

I entered high school where some classic books where required to read to submit a book review. Eventually, I read Great Expectations, Oliver Twist, Pride and Prejudice,Wuthering Heights, and the thick ones like Les Miserables and The Count of Monte Cristo. 

But if there's one book that I really enjoyed reading, that would be The Adventures of Tom Sawyer*. Tom Sawyer was a mischievous boy who lived with his Aunt Polly in the Mississippi River town. Because he was involved in a fight, he was forced to whitewash the fence as punishment. After then, more incidents happened displaying his mischief and wit. 

The author of the book is Samuel Clemens who used Mark Twain as his pen name. Out of curiosity, I researched about the author and his works. His book, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer was actually based on his youth in Hannibal. Because of his talent, wit and satire, he earned the title "the greatest American humorist of his age". As a writer, he published thirty books and more than hundreds of short stories, essays, and speeches.

A lot of biography were written for the literary icon, Mark Twain [1835-1910]. His early years and life near the river (Mississippi), his marriage and family, his travels, even his love for science (he was good friends with Nicola Tesla) were printed and published. 

In New York city, it has been claimed that a tour is given to the places he formerly visited nearing his birthday yearly. 

To you Mister Twain, (and with Google's doodle), 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

Thank you for being an inspiration. :)

Google.com, Nov 30, 2011

 "Courage is the resistance to fear, mastery of fear- not the absence of fear." - Mark Twain

References:

Merriman, C.D. 2006. Mark Twain. Retrieved November 29, 2011 from http://www.online-literature.com  /twain/.

Railton, Stephen. 1996. Mark Twain in His Times. Retrieved November 29, 2011 from http://etext.lib.virginia.edu/railton/index2.html.

The Official Website of Mark Twain. (n.d). Retrieved November 29, 2011 from http://www.cmgww.com/historic/twain/about/bio.htm.

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* I also read the sequel, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Its controversy led me to read it differently. It is indeed a Great American Novel.

Seasonal Seasoning

Para kang isang pista na minsan lang sa isang taon na nangyayari. Kinakailangan pa na magsabit ng bandaritas para maisigaw sa lahat na may okasyon. Pero tanong: ano nga ba ang meron?

Safe kong sabihin na higit isang taon na nating kilala ang isa't isa, at least, sa pangalan. Kung bakit nga naman kasi nag-hello ka pa noong pinakilala tayo ng isang kaibigan. At kung bakit ko nga naman kasi naisip na sa paraang iyon ay napaisip ako na may potential ka rin. 

Nakakabaliw na rin isipin kung ano nga ba ang pakay mo sa mga pasimpleng hirit sa tuwing may mga pagpupulong. Mabuti na lamang na sa mga samu't saring pakikitungo at relasyon ay halos expert na ako pagdating sa pagsakay. Pero sa totoo lang, nahihiya na rin ako sa mga reaksyon ko sa tuwing nababanggit ang pangalan ko at sa tuwing tatanungin ako ng iba nating kaibigan kung may namamagitan ba sa ating dalawa. Pati ang sarili kong sagot at paulit-ulit na "wala" ay pinagdududahan ko na rin. Wala rin naman akong matanungan nang maayos kung may katuturan ang mga naririnig ko tungkol sa ating dalawa.

Ano nga ba ang tamang sagot sa tanong na hindi dapat pag-aksayahan ng laway para sagutin? Anu-ano nga ba ang mga pamantayan para sa susunod na tanong ay alam ko ang mapangahas na sagot sa tanong na nakakarindi na rin ibato sa akin? Una, alam ko ang pangalan mo. Pangalawa, alam mo ang pangalan ko. Pangatlo, nakapag-usap na rin naman tayo (nang ilang beses). Pangapat...wala na. 

Sa araw araw na bumabangon at tinitignan ang telepono ko ay ni minsan ay hindi ka nagtext. Bakit nga naman tayo magtetext sa isa't isa nang walang kadahilanan, di ba? Oo nga pala, narinig ko na may pagka-mahinhin ka kaya sa bawat pagkuha ng atensiyon ko ay kinakailangan ng suporta sa kahit anong paraan; madalas-tulay na bulok naman. Pero kahit na may pagka-supladita at maldita ako, ay marunong din naman ako ngumiti kahit man lang sa text. Bakit hindi mo kasi subukan magtanong?  Hindi rin naman lahat ng sagot ko sa magiging tanong mo ay "hindi" kasi naniniwala ako na kalahati ng pagkakataon ay karapat dapat ang sagot na "oo". 

from image sketch

Siguro nga, wala naman talaga ako sa iyo maliban sa isang kakilala sa kung saan. Ilang beses na rin ako nagparamdam para magkausap tayo pero siguro nga ay hindi, man lamang, tayo magiging magkaibigan. Marahil wala sa plano mo ang makipagkilala talaga o panindigan ang mga pabiro mong pagpaparinig dahil siguro nga totoo ang tsismis na hindi ka pa naka-move on. Kung kaya, siguro kahit dumating man ang araw na kinakailangan ko nang umalis ay hindi ka pa rin gagawa ng kahit na ano. Magtanong ka o kahit man lang mag-aya para magkape tayo; hindi ko naman siguro kailangan ipagdamot ang sagot na "oo".

Alam mo, okay ka naman talaga. Kakaiba. Nakakatawa na nakakainis na minsan na sa dinami-dami ng mga kakilala ko, ay ikaw lang itong sobrang labo. 

Napanood mo na ba ang "3 Idiots"? Kung hindi pa, panoorin mo, wala lang: chill.

Questions

It’s has been over a year since the last time it happened. The memory was still vivid: the invitation, the hesitancy, the acceptance, the whiff inside the room, and the flavorful conversation. Even until now, the event left a trace of nothing but mystery. The smiles were still there but they conveyed plain charm. The laughter was still lucid but told a pinch of amusement. 

It was a busy day. I got a call and heard a familiar loud voice at the other end of the line. The exchange of words was quite short; I just heard myself saying, "okay". But then, I didn't realize that an unexpected call led to a memory that until now makes me wonder what is the true meaning of that instance when somebody just sat beside me and said, a different warmth of, ...

Sa Aking Mahal

Wakas. Tapos na ang kabanatang ito. Apat na taong ko rin itong isinulat at kailan ma'y hindi ko maikakaila ang samu't saring kahulugan ng bawat pintig ng puso ko. Inakit mo ang musmos kong isip sa iyong mga katangian: malakas, mapanuri, at malaya. Dinala ko ang paghanga ko sa iyo nang ilang taon: pitong taon. 
 

Unang taon.

Sumugal ako para makita ka. Sa isang papel, isinulat ko ang pangalan mo nang may halong kaba at pananabik. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay ibinaling mo ang atensiyon sa isang tulad ko. Naging sunud-sunod ang mga pangyayari- ipinakilala mo ang sarili mo at ang mundo mo. Ang galing, pero hindi hamak na ang layo ng agwat ng edad natin. Matanda ka na.

Sa tiwala ng aking mga magulang ay pinayagan akong mag-dormitoryo para mas malapit sa iyo. Sa umaga, lagi mo akong ginigising ng alas- 5 para makapaghanda para sa alas-7 kong klase. Hindi ko ininda ang lamig ng tubig sa umaga, ang (minsa'y) maruming palikuran at ang (minsa'y) kulang sa pangsangkap na almusal. Hindi na bale ang ganoong eksena basta ang alam ko, naroon ka sa may pasilyo naghihintay na samahan ako sa pupuntahan ko. Madalas tayong tahimik habang naglalakad, nag-iisip, at nakikiramdam sa gitna ng basang simoy ng hangin. Tahimik pero masaya akong kasama ka.

Dahil wala kang sasakyan noon, ang hilig nating maglakad; sa ilalim ng sikat ng araw at buhos ng ulan. Nabuo ang mga kuwento sa bawat hakbang ng paa ko sa cemento. Ikinatuwa ko rin naman ang pagpayag mo na isama ang mga kaibigan ko sa kahiligan nating maglakad. Kasabay ng mga halakhak at hikbi, natuto akong makibagay sa mga anak ng negosyante, pulitiko, empleyado, manggagawa at magsasaka. Tao rin naman pala sila, marunong magyabang at posibleng masaktan.

Pagod man sa paglalakad, lagi mo akong pinapaalalahanan na hindi lumiban sa pagkain. Sabi mo pa nga, kailangan bawiin sa pagkain ang nawalang lakas. Kasama ng pagpakilala mo sa ibang kalalakihan sa hapag-kainan, ay nabigyan ng kaukulang pansin ito. Nang dahil sa pagmamahal na iyon, tumaba ako.

Pangalawang taon.

Hindi sapat ang tayo lamang dalawa. May ilang araw na hindi ako ang kasama mo at hindi ikaw ang kasama ko. May mga sandaling hindi ako ang nasa isip ko at (marahil) hindi ako ang nasa isip mo. Pero higit sa lahat, kahit na tayo'y magkalayo, nasa saloobin natin ang ipaglaban ang isa't isa sa mga mata ng mga mapanuring hangal.

Lumipas ang ilang buwan. Nagdesisyon akong lisanin ang dormitoryo at manirahan sa isang bahay sa loob ng campus. Sa kabila nito, nakahinga naman ako nang maluwag sa suportang ibinigay mo. Nabawasan man ang mga pagkakataon ng pagkikita natin sa mga pasilyo ng dormitoryo, sinikap mo naman na abangan ako sa kanto para makasakay ng Ikot.

Sa bagong mundo, namulat ako sa tunay na buhay estudyante. Ibinahagi mo sa akin ang iilang patnubay para mabuhay. Nariyan ang pagsabak ko at paglaban sa mapang-aping sikmura sa pamamagitan ng mga alagad ng kalye. Sa bahay, naging kakampi ko ang bareta at sinag ng araw. Natuto rin akong magkulong sa kwarto para matakasan ang alingawngaw ng tukso at pagkabasag ng mga tinig malapit sa pintuan. Naging kaibigan ko ang dilim, ang init, at pati na rin ang ipis.

Sa taong ito, unti unti kong nasisilayan ang totoong hugis ng mundong kinagagalawan mo. Nakilala ko ang mga kaibigang matagal nang mulat sa katagang parang baluktot na sa mga matatanda ko lang naririnig at ayon daw kay Herbert Spencer- “Survival of the Fittest.”

Sa pagkilala, sa pagsusumikap at munting pag-aaklas, nabawasan ang timbang ko. Nahawa ako sa kalaliman ng utak mo.

Pangatlong taon.

Bumalik ulet ako sa dormitoryo. Subalit hindi tulad nang dati, wala na akong pinaka-iingatang meal card, mas malawak ang pwedeng makasalimuha, at mas malaya (lalo na pagdating sa curfew). Sa kabila ng lahat, ang kalayaang tinatamasa ay para bang isang kandilang nakasindi at unti-unting nauupos. Nagrebelde ako.

Pang-apat na taon.

Mas naramdaman ko ang pagiging malapit sa iyo. Hindi ko akalain na minsa'y isa akong salta sa mundo mo, nangangapa sa kung paano makikibagay sa lahat ng taong bahagi ng buhay mo. Minsan rin akong nakaramdam ng pagkainis, pagkabigo, pagkalumo, at kung ano pang anyo ng pagdamdam sa iyo. Maaaring ang mitsa ng mga naramdaman ko ay ang pag-iisip na sa mga sumunod na buwan ay Pagtatapos na at maaaring hindi na kita makita pang muli.

Ang lahat ng pagtatampo ay kailan ma'y hindi mo pinatulan sa pagpapaalalang hindi ko kailangan ng awa para makakuha ng atensiyon. Kailangan kong maging buo, kahit man lang sa sarili. Kailangan kong lumaban at tumayo nang matuwid sa mga paniniwala ko.

Pagkalipas.

Apat na taon. Apat na kuwento at pagsipat sa mga pangyayaring minsa'y pinangarap na kathang-isip na lang. Apat na taong lumipas subalit pabalik balik sa bawat yapak ng mga paa sa tabi ng kalsada patungong sa kung saan man. Malabo pero malalim; ang pag-tanaw ko ng utang ng loob ay isa sa mga hibla ng pag-ibig ko sa iyo.

Minsan ko na rin inisip ang mahiwalay sa dumudugtong sa ating dalawa. Pagod na ako. Para bang ayoko tumanda na kasama ka. Mas pipiliin ko pang magkita tayo at masambit ang “uy! Namiss kita” kaysa sa makita kita sa, mahigit kumulang, tatlong beses sa isang linggo.

Minsan ko na rin inisip kung kailan mo ulet ako pakikiramdaman. Ang lahat ng mga nangyari simula sa apat na taong pagkakilala hanggang sa ngayon. Kailan mo nga ba ibibigay ang paglaya ko? Hindi na ako masaya subalit nasa saloobin ko pa rin ang mga alaalang hinabi mo sa kasalukuyang pagkatao ko.

Kung kaya't gusto ko pa rin ipaalam na ikaw nga ay aking mahal, minahal, at mamahalin. Isang taimtim na pasasalamat sa pagtagpo ng ating landas. Nai-ukit na sa akin ang tatak bilang isa sa mga nagmamahal sa iyo. Sa aking mahal, ano pa man ang susunod na mangyayari, patuloy kong itataas ang kanang kamao tanda ng paghubog at pag-aruga mo sa akin. Sa malayong lupa man ang aking marating, kailan man ay hindi magbabago ang damdamin.

Sa aking mahal.

U.P.

Isang Pagpatay sa Taong Imburnal

RATED PG. 

The following entry is just a trick. This is not worth of your time, so you may leave this page. Clicking this link was highly appreciated. Thank you.

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It was never my intention to create a negative impact on your lowly life, Jan Lloyd, after that 15-minute conversation, but then, I realized I should have done otherwise.

“All men are evil.” – Machiavelli

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I met up with a good friend to help her transact her brother’s cheque. Since she’s not quite familiar with the university, I agreed to accompany her in the shopping center to print out the necessary documents to claim the cheque. A few minutes later, we drove to the institution to talk to the “right man of the job”: Sir Jan Lloyd.  

Just like any other day, I greeted the guard with a smile. Then, I asked for Mr. Lloyd’s whereabouts and was told that he was at the Admin Office. My friend and I exchanged a short chat while walking along the corridor towards the office.

We arrived at the pink office door where the “ADMIN OFFICE” sign was fixed at the top. I knocked once and gently pushed the door. One staff approached us to entertain our query. I told her that we were waiting for Sir Jan Lloyd. She smiled and advised us to just enter through his mini office.

Sir Jan Lloyd was sitting in his soft cushioned arm chair, high enough to make him comfortable. I took a few steps inside hesitating to sit in any of the (guest) chairs in front of him. My friend was one pace behind me.

“O, ano un?”, he greeted us at the doorway.

“Sir, siya po (pointing at my friend) yung kapatid ni Samuel Milby. Ipa-followup…”, I replied.

“Eh, hindi ko na hawak un, kasi sabi sakin huwag ko na daw pakialaman”, he interjected while adjusting himself on his chair arrogantly.

I was a bit confused about his statements, interpreting the words as mine, so I defensively exclaimed, “Sir, siguro po nagkaroon lang ng miscommunication, pero hindi po ganon ang sinabi ko…”

“Ha! Dalawa ang tenga ko (pointing to his ears), iyon ang narinig kong sinabi sakin. ‘Pwede po bang ‘wag niyo na lakarin? Yung kapatid na lang po niya ang mag-aasikaso.’ Ako naman, eh sige. Pero para bang nabastos ako.”

“Sir, hindi naman po yun ang intensiyon ko noong nakausap ko kayo.”

“Hindi e. Ganon nga ang sinabi. Sa isip ko, ‘Aba, itong mga taong ito, tinutulungan na nga e sasabihan pa ako ng ganon. Para bang may porsiyento ako sa cheque na iyon’.”

“Sige po Sir. Kung iyon nga ang nangyari, eh sorry po…”, I was about to extend my apologies but he kept on talking.

“Madami na akong natulungan, pero parang pinalalabas ay may kukunin akong pera doon kaya ako sinabihan na huwag nang makialaman. Matagal ko nang nilakad iyan, andito pa nga ang mga records. Ang akala ko nga nakuha niyo na,e.”  

From confusion, my feelings shifted to uneasiness. I was sure I didn’t say anything about “huwag nang lakarin” but this person was so adamant about it. I focused on what he was saying looking for an opportunity to just say an apology again about what happened to appease him.

My friend might had felt the tension inside the room, so she interrupted, “Hindi ko naman po kasi alam dito. Tsaka actually po, mga once or twice ko lang po nasabi sa kanya (looking at me). Nahihiya nga po ako dito kaya ang nasabi ko nga po ay hingin ko na lang ang number niyo para direkta ko kayong makausap…”

“Oo, iyon pwede pa. Noong una nga, ang ganda ng pasok. Maayos ang usapan namin. Sabi ko ‘Sige, i-followup mo sa akin sa Friday’. Pero after mga 10 minutes ata, bumalik sakin at ang sinabi nga ay ‘Mang Floyd, pwede po bang huwag niyo nalang lakarin, at iyong kapatid nalang daw ang mag-aasikaso’. Iyon ang sinabi sakin.” He went on with, “Grabe, ang tagal kong iniisip ang mga sinabi sakin. Pero siyempre, sa akin lang iyon, ha. Ako naman ay tumutulong lang naman…”

“Sir, Sir!” , calling his attention about his incessant clamor, “Kung iyon man ho ang nasabi ko, hindi ko naman po intention iyon. Sir, I apologize po sa nangyari,” my voice moving more than a decibel higher than before. I also added that I didn’t get his number since he referred one person to look for at the Cashier’s Office.

“Okay na iyon, tapos na. Pero kasi…*blah, blah, blah*”

I just couldn’t understand how he was reacting to my apologies. My heart started to pound fast. I felt my blood rushing to my temples then to my eyes. My lips were more pursed. I changed my stance to defocus myself from making any further comments. I noticed my hands started to shake so I clutched on my back pack straps with both hands. I tried to calm myself lest I just shout, “TO H*LL WITH YOU! TAMA NA NGA, PARA KAYONG SIRANG PLAKA E! HETO NA NGA’T NAGSO-SORRY, EH AYAW NIYO PA RIN TUMIGIL! T*NG**A NAMAN O!”. I succeeded.

My friend was trying to ease the tension again, but without luck. Towards the end, I was on the verge of tears because of rage, that I blurted in a voice enough to be heard in the entire admin office, “GALIT PA HO BA KAYO SA AKIN?!”

“Hindi na, hindi na…*blah, blah*”

“Eh parang galit pa ho kayo e. So okay na po tayo?” He acknowledged half-heartedly.

“Iyon naman pala.” I turned to my friend, “tara na,” and automatically exclaimed, “thank you Sir!”. We left and walked back towards the exit of the building.

Nearing the guard's area where we first entered the building, I asked my friend to accompany me to the lab room to place the bottles of water and pastries I bought earlier. Putting my keys inside the keyhole, I noticed I was shaking again. As I went inside the room, I placed the groceries on top of the table, put my bag down on one chair, took my glasses off, slumped on another chair, and shouted, “T**G*NA NIYA!”. Worried that other people might hear us, she closed the door and sat on an empty chair.

I started to cry. It has been years since the last time I felt this type of anger. Almost every word was followed by “T**G*NA”, “G*G*”, “P*N**TA”, “P*T**G*S” among others. I vented out with foul language coming out of my mouth like wild fireworks. My friend told me to calm down (in case the dev*l was behind the door), directing me to drink water. I answered her that I don’t give an inch of a care if it was the case.

It was the first time I transacted business with him and didn’t expect him to act that way. In the first place, he was talking to clients. We were not his own kids deserving to be spanked because of petty exclamations. In his point of view I was a bit bossy but in my own point of view, he was apparently, evidently, clearly immature and UNprofessional.

Why put in emotions in business? Why never listen to someone and just blabber about OWN’s feelings about what happened ages ago? Why never direct all grievances to the person IN FRONT believed to have created the chaos within (i.e. instead of using “niya” why not use “ikaw”)?

TO MANONG JAN LLOYD (SINCE YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE ADDRESSED AS “SIR” ANY MORE):

ALAM MO SAYANG, KASI RELATIVELY MATAAS ANG PAGGALANG KO SAYO KAHIT NA EMPLEYADO KA NG ISANG UNIBERSIDAD NA MAY LANTARANG BUDGET CUT. PERO P*T****NA NAMAN, GANON KA PALA UMASTA? HUWAG MO SANA MAMASAMAIN, PERO SA TOTOO LANG, ANG B*B* NG MGA PINAGSASABI MO. BUSINESS LANG MANONG. ALAM KO NAMAN NA MARUNONG KANG GUMAMIT NG TENGA PARA SUMAGAP NG SAMU’T SARING TUNOG PERO HINDI KA MARUNONG MAKINIG AT MAKAINTINDI. ANG SABI MO PA ANG GALING MO  SA PAGTANDA NG MGA BAGAY BAGAY, E BAKIT HINDI MO MAN LANG MATANDAAN ANG PAGPAPASALAMAT KO SA IYO? BINIGYAN KA NA NG PAGKAKATAON PARA MAILAGAY ANG SARILI MO SA DEHADO AT NAABALA, AT I-ANGAT ANG SARILI MO SA LUGAR NG TAMA, PERO KAILAN MAN AY HINDI KA LUMUNOK NG LAWAY PARA PAKINGGAN ANG PAGHINGI NG TAWAD MO AT MAGPALIWANAG MAN LANG. TSAKA PLEASE LANG MANONG HA, HUWAG NA HUWAG MONG BABANGGITIN ANG SERBISYONG GINUGOL MO SA UNIBERSIDAD KASI WALANG TAONG MAY INTERES PARA PANSININ ANG SERBISYONG MAY BAHID NG PANLILINLANG. HIGIT SA LAHAT, KUNG TALAGANG IPINAGMAMAYABANG MO NA ISA KANG MATAPAT NA NAGLILINGKOD, SANA LANG TAPAT KA DIN SA MGA SALITANG BINITAWAN MO- QUITS NA TAYO!

SIYA NGA PALA, GUSTO KO LANG IPAALAM SAYO NA SA SUSUNOD NATIN PAGKIKITA, MAAARING ITURIN NA KITANG ISANG PADER NA MAKAKASALUBONG KO. INGAT MANONG, NAPANSIN KO LANG NA PARANG MARUPOK ANG PAGKAKAGAWA SAYO NG UTAK KO.

***********************

“All men are evil.” – Machiavelli

Cliche as it may sound but really, I have my own set of flaws. I am in the process of nerve-wracking personality repair. I admit I still have my side of darkness, and today, I realized I am a half-blood b*tch. 

P.S. names were changed for intentional purposes.

Froggy Afternoon

My youngest sister, Athena, texted me in her usual, demanding tone:

Athena: Ate Abick, paano tanggalin ang muscles ng frog? Textback asap.

Me: Anjan ba ung globe number? [she used smart]

Athena: Thanks...[tas text na di ko naintindihan...]

Me: Ano? Yung pagkuha ng muscles ng frog, actual? [Kasi di ko alam. Nagmamagaling lang!]

Athena: Oo. Kasi para sa school at kelangan ko magdissect pagdating sa bahay.

Me: Hala! Natry mo na ba magdissect? Sa paghawak palang ng frog, kelangan ng practice!

Athena: Nahawakan na namin ung frog sa school. Kelangan ko kasi nung bones ng frog. Manghuhuli na lang kami ng frog dito sa bahay.

Me: Magdidissect ka ng real frog? Hindi yan pwede sa bahay! Alam mo ba magparalyze ng frog?

**di na nagreply! nasa bahay na...**

Athena: Ate Abick, hindi pala ako globe. Tapos hindi kami nakahanap ng frog dito sa bahay. Walang lumalabas na frog ngayon.

Me: Paano na ang project mo? Tawag ako. 

*******

Call convo. I asked her about what will happen to her project. She told me some details and what her teacher requirements were and she needs to dissect the frog and come up with frog bones! I told her that it will be messy and bone acquisition will be bloody [literally], and the frog will be pitiful. She answered me that boiling will be the solution. Onga naman, parang nilagang manok lang!

I finally asked her, what's their next activity in school...and she answered...

PITHING. [which i know! ahem, bio 11]

AND...

SMASHING! [may ganon pala?! kawawa naman ung froggy!]

We both laughed. I miss you! :)

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photo courtesy of quepid.org

Colored Stains

Thursday
Somewhere within the campus
1700 hours

“I wanna be where you are…where loneliness is far”, my phone rang with its new tune. I saw my good friend, Gerald's * name flashing at its scree and I answered with the usual, "Hello budz, what's up?" Before I could even hear his voice, I already know the immediate answer. He and his girlfriend fought again and he needed a confidante: ME.

"Bick, are you within the area? Could we have some coffee?”
“I know you, Gerald. Would you want me to meet you up somewhere?”
“No. I’m in my car now, so just tell me where you are and I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Okay, I'm taking a break from thesis work.”
“All right, boss. On my way now...”

Fifteen minutes later, I saw a blue BMW came towards the direction where I was sitting. Two signature beeps and I know it was him. I gathered my "self-help" books and walked towards the car.

“Nice one you got here. What’s the assessment of BMW's latest model?"

“So, so…”

“So… look straight to me in the eye and tell me it’s NOT your fault, dear.”

"Ask me that same question again when I get our Java frappe, okay? I think I’m going to burst.”

Gerald and I have been good friends. Since the very first day we were introduced to one another in an event, we were kind of inseparable [that is, if his girlfriend was not around]. People wondered for several years why we never became an "official item". We both dig cars, cartoon, comic books (or graphic novels), coffee, cheese pizza, computer games; I'd say almost all, except chem (he prefers sheer numbers)! 

Somewhere outside the campus

1745 hours

We got a nice place at our favorite coffee shop and upon arrival of what we ordered, Gerald began his qualms.

“I was a total idiot.”

He began his story with the days of "bother-me-not-this-time" and I just sat across him listening that I noticed he was angry but was trying to hold back some tears. For thirty minutes, I didn't utter a single word to distract his pace. I just listened to him intently until I heard myself saying the summary of what happened. Deceit. 

from free stock image

My friend has been cheated by the girl he has been dating for five years. The very first day she told him not to bother her (after their latest misunderstanding), it was the day she entertained her high school classmate's "long time admiration of her". Their love story started that same day. [That b--ch!].

As Gerald continued telling me what happened, I could see pain in his eyes that I felt like hugging him. However, to my own surprise, I felt two hot tears  ruining my lightly painted face. 

“Bick, are you okay?”

“Uhh, yes, I am. I think I caught dirt in my eyes. Thanks.” I lied through my teeth though the truth just struck me right then and there. As I removed my glasses and wiped my cheeks dry with my fingers, I wished my phone ring and hear the same tune I heard when Gerald called earlier that day. 

Inside my bedroom
2200 hours

“I wanna be where you are…where loneliness is far. We’re a million miles apart, but I know in my heart” Registered: one missed call.

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Note: *fictional character and place